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Posts in category Energize your life

Want to change the world? Watch what you feed your mind.

February 26, 2015 Written by Curt Rosengren

you are what you eat

Want to change the world? Start with what you choose to feed your mind! The input you give it shapes how you see the world. And how you see the world has a big impact on what you see as possible, and by extension the choices you make and the actions you take.

So if you want to change the world, it just makes good sense to feed your mind brainfood that leaves you feeling positive and inspired about the possibilities.

You are what you eat (and so is your mind!)

I just ran across an article that mentions research that supports the connection between what a person feeds their mind and their likeliness to take action to make the world a better place:

“In a study I carried out at the University of Pennsylvania, different versions of the same news story were tested on a sample of 710 people. It found that the classical negative news story left people feeling hopeless and passive.

In contrast, articles with a constructive peak midway and a hopeful ending was deemed good reporting and left readers feeling informed. The data overall suggested that readers of the more positive article were left with more energy to engage and take action.

A growing body of research points to the same finding. This year researchers at the University of Texas, Austin released a study in which a solution-based ending was applied to classic news articles reporting on homelessness in the US, mental struggles for US school children and living conditions for poor people in India. Across the board readers reported higher levels of inspiration, a desire to learn more about the issue and higher levels of engagement when it came to sharing, commenting and discussing the issue.”

So if you want to show up in a way that maximizes the impact you can make, it makes sense to ask, “How does what I’m pouring into my brain make me feel? What impact does it have on me? What effect does it have on my desire to and belief in my ability to make a change?”

Stop cultivating learned helplessness

There’s a psychological term called “learned helplessness.” The simplest way to describe it is a learned feeling of, “It doesn’t matter what I do. Nothing is going to change.”

An experiment done a few decades ago demonstrated the effect of learned helplessness. I won’t go into all the details (they’re not pretty), but it involved electrifying increasing portions of the floor of rats’ cages until there was no place they could retreat to. When they learned that couldn’t escape it, they gave up.

Reading about the research on how we respond to the news, it occurs to me that something similar (if less obviously horrific) can happen to us as we watch the news.

In general, the news is high on tragedy and turmoil, low on solutions. If that makes up most of what we’re exposed to, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to imagine what effect that has on our energy and inclination towards taking action.

If you want to change the world, change what you feed your mind. If you want to explore news alternatives to the standard toxic fare, check out this list of positive news sources to nourish your mind.

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Making a difference, Taking action, Uncategorized

Inspiration Sunday: Street compliments

February 16, 2014 Written by Curt Rosengren

The aim of my Inspiration Sunday posts is to shine a light on the positive and inspiring people who are all around us if we take the time to look.

Typically, the videos are about people making the world a better place, overcoming great obstacles, or finding ways to live a more heart-based life. Today’s video is more about the change-the-world superpower we each have readily available to us – giving honest, genuine, heart-felt compliments.

Try this: Try a compliment experiment. Make a list of people in your life – friends, family, co-workers, etc. – you think would appreciate hearing what you really think of them.

Over the next 30 days, reach out to as many of them as possible, explain to them what you’re doing, and ask them to simply receive what you have to say.

How does it make you feel? If you like this one, you might also like the gratitude experiment idea I posted a couple weeks ago.

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Heart-based living, Inspiration Sunday, Making a difference
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What is a pleasure walk, and why should you take one?

February 10, 2014 Written by Curt Rosengren

What if a simple walk could change your whole outlook on the world?

I just finished listening to Kristin Neff’s book, Self-Compassion. In it, she described an idea that sparked my interest – taking a pleasure walk.

Here’s a snippet from a document on Neff’s web site describing the idea:

The goal of the walk is to notice as many pleasurable things as possible, slowly, one after another. Use all your senses—sight, smell, sound, touch…maybe even taste.

How many happy, beautiful, or inspiring things can you notice while you’re walking? Do you enjoy the fresh air, the warm sun, a beautiful leaf, the shape of a stone, a smiling face, the song of a bird, the feeling of the earth under your feet?

She encourages us to dive into noticing with gusto.

I few weeks ago I wrote about a gratitude-based mindfulness experiment. Taking a pleasure walk is another great way to aim your attention and focus on the positive.

It’s not about a syrupy attempt to make things positive that aren’t. It’s about giving our minds the opportunity to practice noticing what’s good.

On occasion I get into the habit of writing my dreams down first thing in the morning. After a few days of doing that, a funny thing happens. I start remembering more dreams. It’s like my mind realizes that I’m paying attenti0n, so it decides it had better start remembering those dreams.

The same thing happens when you practice noticing what’s good. The more you notice, and the more consistently you notice it, the more you naturally notice what’s good.

And when you naturally notice more of what’s good, guess what that does to your outlook on life?

In a way, it’s like sculpting your perspective. As you add more of the positive, you start to have less room for the negative.

I’m not suggesting that this is a magic-wand, just-add-water approach to a positive attitude. But it’s definitely another tool you can easily put to use to consciously craft your outlook.

The positive is there, whether you choose to notice it or not. Given that, doesn’t it make sense to take advantage of it?

So if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time for a walk.

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Personal development
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Would this gratitude experiment make you happier?

February 7, 2014 Written by Curt Rosengren

Want an easy way to up your happiness? Express your gratitude!

In this experiment, they had participants write about people who had a big positive impact on their lives. Once they were done writing, the experiment leader said, “OK, now call them and read what you wrote.”

The result is a beautiful demonstration of the power of expressing gratitude.

Just expressing the gratitude in writing raised people’s happiness levels. Sharing it with the person they wrote about raised it even higher.

(And fair warning. Before you watch this, grab a hankie. I’m still sniffling from it.)

Try this: Over the next week, identify at least one person you feel deeply grateful to. Sit down and write your thoughts about them. Why are you grateful for them? How have they affected your life?

Then reach out to them. Explain what you’re doing, and ask them to just listen to what you wrote.

See how it makes you feel. See how it makes them feel.

If you liked it, do it again (and again, and again).

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Gratitude, Heart-based living
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Why I’m falling out of love with passion

February 6, 2014 Written by Curt Rosengren

Since 2001, my work has focused on helping people create careers and lives that energize and inspire them. So what’s the deal with the headline of this post? How could I be falling out of love with passion???

Well, perhaps it’s not so much that I’m falling out of love with passion per se (my definition of passion: The energy that comes from bringing more of YOU into what you do). I still think passion is as important as ever.

It’s really more that I have fallen out of love with the almost manic focus on having more passion, more happiness, more, more, more!

Somehow the idea has developed that we need to shoot for a 100%, Mach 10, All-Fabulous-All-the-Time Life.

And that would be great if it had the slightest thing to do with reality.

But it doesn’t.

Whether you’re looking at your career, your relationships, your health, or any other area, life is a series of ebbs and flows. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down.

The self-help world’s insistence that everything stay Up creates the impression that if you’re not jacked through the roof in Up mode, something is wrong with your life. Or worse, something is wrong with YOU.

Maybe it’s more accurate to say that my love is expanding. Yes, I’m still head over heels about passion, and happiness, and all those lovely states of being. But I’m increasingly seeing the need for it all to be built on the foundation of decidedly less sexy ideas.

Ideas like being present in the moment. Like gratitude for what you have. Like accepting and even embracing what is, however challenging. Like learning to love your situation exactly the way it is. And learning to love yourself exactly the way you are.

One of the most limiting beliefs I see out there is the dichotomous view that we have to either madly scramble to improve, or sink into the mire of stuckness with a less than preferable situation.

That’s complete crap. Here’s a different take on it. You can both aspire to improve and learn to occupy your current situation fully, compassionately, with love. One doesn’t negate the other.

In fact, learning to occupy the present moment more fully, fighting it less and accepting it more, makes more room for the improvement you aspire to. You’re not wasting so much time and energy struggling and resisting, which means you have more to put into the changes you want to make.

Take a look at your own life. Do you see any either/or beliefs around growth and change versus accepting and embracing what is? If so, what impact does that have? Could you explore taking a both/and approach to it?

I’m not likely to stop talking about passion, or happiness, or being energized. But more and more I’m seeing contentment, grounding, and a proactive acceptance not just as a way to plug an energy leak  and eliminate a source of discomfort, but as a way to create the space for your pursuit of growth and goals to thrive.

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Overcoming obstacles, Personal development
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What is your core underlying purpose?

February 4, 2014 Written by Curt Rosengren

Are you defining the purpose of your work too narrowly?

Last night at a dinner party I sat next to a guy I had never met before, and we got to talking about what he did for work (helping people with disabilities find jobs).

That in itself was interesting, but what was really interesting was his take on what he was actually there for, and how that perspective affected his experience of his work.

“I’m there to bring happiness and joy to people.” 

That wasn’t his job description. It wasn’t even the aimed-for end result of the work he did. It was what I started thinking of as his core underlying purpose, something that had deeper roots than the fleeting, changeable definition of what he does for a living.

Work as a vehicle for purpose

He didn’t see that purpose as being served only when the end goal of his work was achieved. He saw it as unfolding in every aspect of his job. It defined how he saw his role, not just with the clients he worked with, but also his co-workers and the employers he talked to.

Seen in that light, his sense of meaning didn’t have to come from the actual job and its goals. The job was really just a vehicle for his core underlying purpose to be expressed.

That core underlying purpose was less about the actual details of the job (the job description, the goals, etc.) and more about how he did it. Every step of the way, every minute of the day, brings with it the potential for him to add to people’s happiness and joy in some way, even if it’s just giving someone a warm smile.

What’s my core underlying purpose?

If I were to take a first crack at my own core underlying purpose, I would say it is about facilitating clarity and opening doors of possibility. I find myself doing that in all kinds of ways in all kinds of scenarios. I do it in my Passion Catalyst work – coaching, writing and speaking – but I also do it naturally and informally, in random conversations at parties, for example.

So if I look at things through that lens, everything I do can be seen in the context of facilitating clarity and/or opening doors of possibility. It gives me a frame of reference in every scenario to ask, “How can I facilitate clarity here? How can open a door to possibility here?”

I can ask those questions in my work. I can ask those questions in my relationships. I can ask those questions in most any situation I find myself in.

Take your core underlying purpose for a test drive

What is your core underlying purpose? Do a first-blush version. See what comes out. Don’t worry about “getting it right.” Think of it as creating a lump of clay you can sculpt over time.

When you have a test version of your core underlying purpose, you can do two things:

  1. Explore how it is currently being expressed in your work, and your life.
  2. Look for opportunities to express it.
  3. Evaluate and refine it.

One of the big ways people block themselves from deep insights about something like this is a perceived need to have it all wrapped up and tidy with a bow on top right out of the gate. But deep insights like this often tend to come more from an unfolding than a brilliant flash of realization.

Having a test version of your core underlying purpose allows you to explore it, act on it, see how it feels, so how it fits, and refine it based on what you discover.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be exploring the idea of purpose more deeply, including how to identify what it is for you.

Stay tuned!

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Personal development
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Change your life with Story Management

January 24, 2014 Written by Curt Rosengren

People tell themselves stories, and then pour their lives into the stories they tell.

~ Anonymous

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could wave a magic wand and the world would fall into line, just the way you want it to be?

Well, in a way, you can. Not by controlling everything that’s happening externally (and anyway, how exhausting would that be??), but through working with what’s happening internally.

The world you see isn’t the world “as it is.” It’s the world you see through the lens of whatever stories you tell about it. The shape of those stories determines the shape of that lens, which in turn determines how you experience the world you see through that lens.

And that’s good news!

Why? Because when you change your story, how you experience the world changes! So to change the world (or at least to change how you perceive it), you can skip the backbreaking and ultimately fruitless grind of trying to make everything around you match how you want it to be, and simply sculpt your stories.

The power of story management

During a session yesterday, a coaching client and I were talking about taking advantage of this story-generated lens. As we talked about the impact of our stories, the idea of “story management” came up. In a nutshell, story management is about cultivating more life-enhancing stories and shifting out of life-constricting stories.

Conceptually, it’s really simple. If I cultivate more stories that feed a positive view of the world, and reduce or eliminate the stories that feed a negative view, the world from my perspective changes, often dramatically.

Of course, like many conceptually simple ideas, this one can be easier said than done. It’s not a flip-of-the-switch solution. In fact, story management is really a lifetime approach. If you’re still breathing, you probably still need to work on managing your stories.

Life-constricting stories

We all have limiting beliefs about ourselves or the world around us. They’re usually marked by words like, “I can’t…That’s not…They won’t…” or other negative assessments about people, ideas, possibilities, etc.

Worry is a life-constricting story. Anger (sustained past its useful role as a catalyst for action) is a life-constricting story. “I’m not good enough” is a life-constricting story.

With story management, your first task is to be aware of these stories. Often, they’re operating in the background. We’re so used to their “reality” we don’t even think to question it.

Once we have shined a light on them, we can start to question them. We can either explore alternative ways of seeing things, or we can simply let those stories go.

Life-enhancing stories

Shifting out of your limiting stories can have a hugely positive impact on your life, but it’s only part of the picture. The other opportunity to sculpt your stories is to add to and feed the life-enhancing stories.

Again, the first step is noticing. When you are aware of your positive stories (e.g., “People are basically good,” or, “This situation is crappy, but I always learn from these challenges”), you can more consciously reinforce them.

Often, finding more life-enhancing stories is the result of your work to change the life-constricting stories – you swap one out for the other. So if you’re looking for a great way to start exploring possible life-enhancing stories, you need look no farther than the constriction. Every time you notice a life-constricting story at work is an opportunity to practice finding a more positive perspective.

Another way to manage your life-enhancing stories is to feed and nourish them. Provide them with the nutrients they need to thrive. One example of how to do that is focusing on gratitude. Gratitude nurtures a positive view of the world that both generates life-enhancing stories and makes it easier for them to thrive.

It’s not all fluffy bunnies

One final bit of advice for your story management efforts. Don’t mistake cultivating life-enhancing stories for living in denial of what’s challenging or painful.

It’s not about experiencing only sunshine and fluffy bunnies. It’s about more consciously shaping your experience of the world to one that is more expansive than constrictive.

Pain is an inevitable part of life. Fighting that pain – shoving it down, pretending it doesn’t exist, railing against it – has an enormously constrictive impact. Allowing the pain, on the other hand – acknowledging it, being with it, feeling compassion – lets its energy move through. You don’t get stuck there.

Consider this quote from Leo Tolstoy: “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” When you change your story, you change your perspective. And when your perspective changes, so does your world.

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Change, Personal development
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Gratitude: Big power in the little things

December 13, 2013 Written by Curt Rosengren

A while ago I posted about my experiment of wearing a “thank you” button. One of the outcomes of that experiment was a greater awareness of opportunities for gratitude as I go about my day-to-day life.

That awareness isn’t a high volume chorus line extravaganza. It’s more of a steady low-grade hum. While there are certainly things in my life that I’m grateful for in a big way, what I notice most is how much more I notice the small things. For example:

  • The coffee I have at a coffee shop
  • The barrista who was funny and pleasant with me
  • The beauty of the artwork on the coffee shop wall
  • The fact that my arm functions healthily and easily as I lift the coffee cup to my mouth
  • The taste of the coffee
  • The feel of my arm in motion
  • The fact that I’m being aware of opportunities to be grateful

And on and on it goes. It’s not about big rushes of gratitude – frankly, that would be exhausting. Rather, it’s an ongoing small-scale noticing. And what you notice shapes your life.

How gratitude can change your life

If you want to change your life, change what you focus on. Imagine there are two of you in parallel universes. You each get up in the morning and have the exact same identical day – with one exception. One of you gets sucked into lack-based thinking (I don’t have enough, I’m not enough), and the other of you habitually gravitates towards noticing things to be grateful for.

Exact same day. Exact same mishaps and irritations. And two completely different experiences.

I know it can be easier said than done to change to that more positive perspective. It doesn’t tend to happen with the wave of a magic wand. But like so many things, it’s a habit you can develop.

Gratitude: Shine a light on the specks of dust

When you first start focusing on gratitude, it’s typically the big things that you notice. But over time, as you exercise that gratitude-recognition muscle, you’ll find that the small things pop up in your awareness more and more.

It’s like turning a spotlight on in a dark room and suddenly seeing all the specks of dust floating in the air. They were always there, but until you shined the light on them, you didn’t notice.

The more you notice the small things, the more you notice that they really are everywhere. Life has a high density of little gratitudes, if we’ll just flip the light on and practice seeing what’s there.

And the more we notice, the more that shapes how we experience our days.

When it comes to gratitude, there’s big power in noticing the little things.
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Inspiration Sunday: Julia Butterfly Hill – What’s your tree?

November 24, 2013 Written by Curt Rosengren

I’m a huge believer in the impact of what we feed our minds. Unfortunately, most people feed their minds a steady diet of violence, tragedy, and despair (watched the news lately?).

A few months ago I wrote a post with links to a bucketload of positive news sources to nourish your mind. Today, I’m going to start a regular post spotlighting inspiring stories of hope and possibility.

Every Sunday, I will post a video featuring people, groups, or communities who exemplify what’s inspiring about humanity – because contrary to most of what you see on the news, there’s a LOT.

I’m kicking it off with this short clip about Julia Butterfly Hill and her “What’s Your Tree?” project.

I first heard about Julia when her book The Legacy of Luna came out. I was completely inspired. And I love here “What’s Your Tree?” project.

As she describes in the clip, “Maybe it’s not a Redwood or a Douglas Fir, but it’s symbolic. What is it in your life that could have yourself be more powerful than you know yourself to be? That could have you be in service in a way that has you so inspired in what you’re doing that you can’t help but make a difference?”

How about you? What’s your tree? If you like the idea, head over to the What’s Your Tree website and check out what they’re up to.

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Inspiration Sunday, Making a difference
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Can a gratitude button change your life?

November 21, 2013 Written by Curt Rosengren

thank you buttonStudies have shown that a focus on gratitude can have a huge positive impact on us, both emotionally and physically.

But between the busyness of life and the constant messages we’re bombarded with that we don’t have enough, aren’t enough, etc., it’s easy for gratitude to fall off the radar screen.

With that in mind, I want to share an experiment that has helped me be more consistently aware of  gratitude.

THE EXPERIMENT

A couple months ago I decided to try an experiment with a button a friend had given me that says “Thank you.” I would wear it every day, just to see what effect it would have. My plan was to just wear it for a couple weeks, but the result has been so positive, I’m still wearing it.

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED SO FAR

Here’s a nutshell of what I have found so far.

The button reminds me to focus on gratitude 

Especially in the beginning, wearing the gratitude button was a constant reminder for the question, “What can I be grateful for?” I would see it when I looked down. I would see it in the bathroom mirror when I was washing my hands. Often, just knowing it’s there has acted as a reminder.

Other people remind me to focus on gratitude

When I’m out and about, other people provide a great reminder. Sometimes they ask me about the button. More often they don’t, but I notice a little eye-bobble as they glance down at the button. And even if neither of those happens, just the fact that I’m half-expecting them to ask about it brings my attention there.

Occasionally when I tell them about the impact of gratitude, someone asks, “So what are you grateful for?” That’s always a great way to bring it out of the abstract and into the present moment.

I started to notice more things to be grateful for 

The longer I wore the button, the more I started to notice things to be grateful for. It’s like taking your gratitude muscles to the gym. The more they work out, the stronger they are, and the more naturally they come into use.

My general awareness of gratitude was greater

It’s not like I’ve this non-stop power surge of gratitude as a result of wearing the button. But I have noticed a greater overall awareness. Gratitude has become a more constant part of what I notice, even in small, subtle ways. The song of my day has more gratitude notes, you might say.

It gives me the opportunity to plant seeds with others

The button hasn’t just had an impact on me. It has also been an opportunity to plant gratitude seeds with other people, creating positive ripples. When someone asks about the button, I give them a short spiel on the experiment and the positive impact of gratitude. One woman even decided that she needed to get a bunch of buttons to give to her friends.

People start to expect my focus on gratitude

One day I was having a particularly bad day and was in a particularly foul mood. I didn’t feel grateful, and I didn’t want to wear my button. But I had to go to the bank, and I knew there was a teller there with whom I had had a long conversation about my experiment. I knew she would be expecting me to be wearing it. I sighed, put on my button, and headed out the door.

Sure enough, when I saw her she smiled and asked, “Where’s your button?” I flashed open my coat and showed her that it was there. We ended up having a positive conversation, and it brought me back to a more positive space.

In a way, that starts to create a “gratitude accountability loop.”

WHAT HAS GOTTEN IN THE WAY

Here are a couple things that I found have reduced the experiment’s effectiveness.

The button started fading into the background

After wearing it for several weeks, the button just started to fade into the background. I don’t notice it as much.

The gratitude started becoming mechanical

After a while, the gratitude started becoming more mechanical, like another item on my to-do list. I had to really stop and consciously bring a feeling of gratitude back to it.

WAYS TO IMPROVE THE GRATITUDE BUTTON EXPERIMENT

Here are some ideas that just burbled up on how to counter those two things.

Get different buttons: From a purely visual perspective, the button started to become background white noise. I grew used to seeing it there, and it stopped catching my eye as something different. It’s possible that getting a variety of buttons – different colors, shapes, sizes – might keep my visual attention more.

Get an “ask me why” button: This is something I toyed with from the beginning. Maybe 1 in 10 people I encounter while out and about ask me about the button. Adding an “ask me why” button might open the door to talking about it even more.

Make a conscious ritual: Rather than hastily grabbing it off the table as I get dressed, or unceremoniously tossing it down when I get ready for bed, I could make putting it on and taking it off a conscious ritual. Each time I put it on or take it off, I could pause, focus on my breathing, and think of five things I’m grateful for.

If I wanted to go even farther, I could make the conscious ritual into a five minute gratitude meditation.

Carry a supply of thank you buttons with me: I could carry a supply with me and if someone asks me about it and responds really positively to the idea, I could give them one. That would both ratchet up the engagement around it and plant seeds with other people.

So can a gratitude button experiment change your life? Yes, I think it can. 

If this experiment tickles your fancy at all, I highly recommend it. It’s a super-easy way to increase the gratitude awareness of both you and the people around you.

If you do, let me know how it goes!

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