As someone whose livelihood is based in a “subject matter expert” role, it’s tempting to present the world with my rock solid, I’ve-got-it-together face at all times. I mean, who would trust what I have to say if I weren’t a superhero who had it all under control, right?
Well here’s the truth. Often I do feel rock solid. But sometimes – more often than I would like to admit – if I were a superhero, my name would have to be [insert superhero announcer voice] SelfDoubtMaaaaaan. My superpower would be supersonic knee-knocking. And you know that herky jerky forward and back dance you do when you want to jump off the high dive, but haven’t quite convinced yourself it’s a good idea? That would be me springing (or not) into action.
Self-doubt: Everybody’s doin’ it
Why the true confessions post? Because I think it’s incredibly important. Let’s face it. If you’re going to do anything outside of the little box of the known, self-doubt is likely to come up. You’re going to venture into the new and unfamiliar, where success is no assured slam-dunk.
Self-doubt. Insecurity. Fear. We all have it at some point. Most of us try to pretend we don’t. Which is a crock o’ dung. The real trouble comes when we feel it and have ourselves convinced that nobody else does, which starts us feeling that something is wrong with us. “I’m such a quivering pile of self-doubt. Everyone else seems to have it together. I don’t have what it takes.”
Whoops! Hang on there, pardner. Here’s the real skinny. To varying degrees, in varying ways, everybody else doesn’t have it together (welcome to the human experience). It’s just that everyone else is hiding it too.
Having had the opportunity to work with people helping them create careers and lives that light them up, I’ve had a chance to see the “behind-the-scenes story” of many people who outwardly looked incredibly successful and together. Trust me on this one – you’re not alone.
It’s not if it happens – it’s what you do when it does
So really it’s not a question of whether or not you experience some form of self-doubt as you create a life worth living. It’s what happens when you do. Do you let it stop you? Do you let it define you? Or do you acknowledge that everyone experiences it to some degree and move on?
For some good ideas on what to do when self-doubt hits, read this piece on “How Self-Doubt Makes Leaders Better.” While it’s focused on leaders, much of it is really relevant for all of us, regardless of the role we see ourselves playing.
I admire people who sally forth (yes, I really just wrote that) into the unknown with a torpedos-be-damned, let’s do this thing attitude. But you know who else I admire? Possibly even more? People who are scared and uncertain, who don’t know if they have what it takes, who dive in anyway and start swimming.
(And for the record, if more people were 100% honest about it, that’s probably the majority of us.)
While I’m at it, here are a few more resources for what to do when self-doubt comes galloping through your living room and drops a steaming pile of…well, you know.
How to overcome self-doubt: 8 tips to boost your confidence – tiny buddha
Ten ways to overcome creativity’s number one crusher – lifehacker
7 Simple steps to conquering self-doubt – Advanced Life Skills
Overcoming self-doubt – The Minimalists (this one is focused more on interpersonal doubts)
So the next time self-doubt rears its head and threatens to stop you, grab a friend, look them in the eye and ask with all earnestness, “Am I human?” Assuming the answer is yes, remind yourself that self-doubt is just part of the human experience, explore some ways to move through it, and get back on your horse and ride!
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