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How to create your greatness incubator

March 2, 2012 Written by Curt Rosengren

Yesterday I talked about the idea of consciously cultivating a “greatness incubator.” To quote from that post:

The people in your life have the potential to create a greatness incubator. They have the potential to create an environment where you can step fully into you are, and who you can be.

Today I want to get a little more nuts and bolts with the idea. Sure, it’s a nice concept, but how do you consciously, purposefully take steps towards creating one o’ them thar incubator thingies?

It’s not a flip-of-the-switch effort, of course. It evolves over time. But here are some ideas to get you started.

Take stock

Start with the exercise from yesterday’s post and take stock of the significant people in your life and whether or lift you up or drag you down. The more you can understand what impact the different people in your life have on you, the better prepared you are to make changes (either bringing in more of the positive or reducing the negative).

While you’re at it, take a look at the groups/communities you belong to and ask the same question.

From there, look at it in four broad steps. The goal is to increase the support and inspiration and reduce the drag.

I. Expand

This is the easiest. What’s already there? Where are the positive influences currently in your life? How can you expand the amount of interaction there?

This could entail reaching out to individuals and saying, “Hey, let’s get together more often.” Or it might mean committing to getting more involved in a community or group you find to have a positive impact on you.

II. Add

The next step is looking for more opportunities to add supportive or inspiring interactions and connections to your life.

This might mean reaching out to someone new and saying, “I find what you do inspiring – I’d love to find out more about it.” Or it might mean identifying more opportunities (events, networking, volunteering, etc.) to connect with positive, supportive, inspired people.

III. Change

The first two ideas were focused on expanding the positive elements in your life. These next two are about reducing the negative.

If you have someone in your life who consistently drags you down, you can ask them to change (and yes, I recognize this can be easier said than done, but it’s a good place to start).

For example, if they are consistently critical of your ideas or your dreams, or they are constantly pessimistic about your goals, you can ask them to stop. This might work, and it might not, but it’s the least drastic step, so it’s a good place to start.

Depending on who it is and how important they are to you, if that doesn’t work you might need to either draw a boundary (I’m not willing to listen to your criticism any more) or move on to the next step.

IV. Eliminate

If there are people who just don’t add much to your life, you may want to consider eliminating them from the picture. Life is too short to spend it with people who drag you down.

Think of it as your relationship budget. You only have so many ticks on the clock while you’re here on this planet. Do you really want to spend it with people who make it harder to live into your full greatness?

I know I don’t.

[image by Frits Ahlefeldt-Laurvig]

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Create a greatness incubator in your life

March 1, 2012 Written by Curt Rosengren

1890 circus poster
“Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

~ Mark Twain

One of the single biggest indicators of where your life is going is the kind of people you surround yourself with. Take a look at the people around you. Do they lift you up or do they tear you down? Do they inspire you or do they suck you dry? Are they bubbling over with “Yes!” or are they bogged down in “no?”

I’m not talking about surrounding yourself with bobblehead yes-people. Some of the most important people in my life are more than ready to call me on my shit. They’ll question what I’m doing and point out my (sometimes painful) blind spots.

AND they celebrate my dreams. They help me work through the down spots and share my joy in the up spots. They believe in me, even when I don’t. They don’t let me forget the power and depth of what I have to offer, even when I feel like an impostor.

And they inspire me. That inspiration might be through their ability to think big, but it’s just as likely to be the way they find such joy in the small things in life. They inspire me to take action toward my dreams, and they inspire me to stay grounded and live in the moment.

The people in your life have the potential to create a greatness incubator. They have the potential to create an environment where you can step fully into you are, and who you can be.

Try this: Take stock of the people you spend time with in your life. Make a laundry list of family, friends, colleagues, co-workers – anyone you spend a significant amount of time with.

For each of the people on the list, ask “Does interacting with this person support my greatness, or does it inhibit it?” (This is a bit like the Gain-to-Drain Ratio evaluation.)

Doing this gives you a better awareness of what’s really happening. And that awareness is the starting point for being able to consciously cultivate that greatness incubator in your life.

Tomorrow, I’ll explore some ideas for how to tip the balance toward support and inspiration.

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Energize your life, Overcoming obstacles
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